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Frequently asked questions
Are you still in
contact with Michael?
As it was dealing
with the death of your child, was the film hard
to make and the book hard to write?
Do you ever really
heal from a loss like this?
The sex scenes in
your book 'Layla's Story' were very confronting
for many people in their frankness. What do
you tell people about that?
If you want to ask a question,
email
info@vanessagorman.com
Are you still in
contact with Michael?
Michael lives in Melbourne now
but we are in regular contact. We still have
an enormous amount of love and respect for each
other and maintain a great friendship. Michael’s
journey is featured in my book ‘Layla’s
Story’ - in fact it tells the whole story!
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As it was dealing
with the death of your child, was the film hard
to make and the book hard to write?
Yes and no. Some days with both
projects it was hard to relive the whole experience
and I wanted to run a mile. In many ways both
the film and the book helped me grieve and also
distracted me from the grief.
When you lose a baby, that person
is not so real to others and part of doing both
projects was to make her real and make sure
she would not be forgotten. It was my legacy
to her, and that felt like a way I could continue
loving her and giving to her. Also, in a strange
way, I felt like I was doing her work here on
earth, talking about the hidden subject of grief
and bringing this kind of a loss out into the
open. So it was hard some days but also immensely
healing for me.
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Do you ever really
heal from a loss like this?
I would say yes. It takes its
own time and that may be years rather than months,
but by allowing the grief to be expressed and
giving it space and time to be felt, it is possible
to heal. You never forget and the loss lives
on as part of who you are, but peace and happiness
can one day be part of your life again.
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The sex scenes in
your book 'Layla's Story' were very confronting
for many people in their frankness. What do
you tell people about that?
That sex can be a beautiful part
of a relationship and that since this book is
a very intimate portrait of a relationship,
and a very honest look at all aspects of one
person’s life, it seemed right to include
it within the story. Also, in my relationship
with Michael, in a sense he was healing me on
an emotional level, and I was healing him on
a sexual level, so it made sense to include
this part of our life together. It was a very
joyous part of our shared experience and I wanted
to capture that.
Within freedom of speech there is freedom of
choice. If people find it offends them they
have the choice to skip those bits.
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